This is my child

Hello, my name is Gavin. This picture is a testament of my parents cruelty. I will explain why: I had set about that day to do some reconaissance work in the kitchen area that they call the "cubberds". I will be fank with you- I know they hide food up there. Special tasty food they do not allow me to have. So, naturally, I took the bull by the horns, so to speak, and climbed up there all by myself to retrieve some of that delicious contraband. To my bewilderment and horror, I found I had grown much within the last few weeks and my body to cubberd size ratio calculations were a bit off. And so, I cried. I admit it. It doesn't make me any less of a man! I was merely alerting my parental authorities in the way I knew they would respond to the quickest. So, you can imagine my anger and humiliation when, instead of saving me from a very compromising position, THEY PULLED OUT THE CAMERA! The absolute nerve! Suffice to say, I have yet to completely forgive. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some gummi bears that I need to emotionally blackmail out of my mother...